The Old Man & The Old Moon

Assistant Directing on PigPen’s The Old Man and The Old Moon has been an immensely fulfilling and joyful experience. I feel beyond lucky and grateful to have gotten to be a part of this project. At the start I was hesitant to be excited, I was scared a tricky and frustrating experience was waiting for me. But it was all joy. From the design meetings to the shows to the now-lasting relationships that started in that room. 

The director, Emily Ritger, taught me so much. I learned about directing theory: viewpoints and Viola Spolin. I learned about devising language and the power of ownership, about object theatre, how to not be precious, how to follow impulse, how to recognize actors' impulses, how to make space for the designers and actors to create, how to give notes, how important foundational trust is to be able to say “wrong”, how to problem solve, and how limitations make us more creative. I also learned about the importance of transparency and intentionally shaping the culture of a room, how to manage personal emotional needs vs group emotional boundaries, how a culture of accountability is often more successful than flexibility, how much positivity and joy for the process permeates a show, and about a million other things. 

Emily also generously gave me so many opportunities to be an active contributor to the room. From choreographing a clap sequence to giving the actors notes, to leading the end of rehearsal ritual and beyond. I got to learn from working hands-on with the actors, working to shape and edit my directing style based on what they responded to positively.

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This project has probably been the biggest learning experience of my life. Beyond building up my directing toolbox this “trial run” at directing made me want to do it forever, and made me feel like I could. Over this last year, I’ve realized that finding a sense of inner peace is of huge value to me. Which I understand sounds like something you wouldn’t find within a tight time frame with a marathon of a musical to put on, yet I did. I just felt at peace in that rehearsal room, problem-solving, encouraging, shaping, and playing. At 10:30 every night I would walk home from Mundelein just radiating immense joy, at a level I hadn’t found in theatre in a while. This discovery now shapes how I move forward in my theatre career at Loyola and on the professional stage. 

 

Another huge moment of personal, intellectual, and professional development that occurred through this process has been a shift in where I place importance during the creative process. For a long time, the most important part to me has been the performance, what the world sees and judges. The fear and anxiety of that moment fuelled my process. Now the process is the most important part, the joy found in that, placing less importance on external validation. Something Emily said at one of our first meetings sparked this shift. I said something about “wanting to make something we were proud of" and she countered by saying “It is more about a positive process, and play, than the product,” not exactly in those words, but that was the gist of it. To be honest, at first, I was skeptical of that concept but when I experienced it in practice, paradigm-shifting. I will say, I am so proud of what we created, the community, the show, and the joy we got to put out in the world. But I think the biggest reason that I’m so proud is the product is a reflection of the joy and dedication that was put into the process, not fear riddle motivation to make something shiny. The show was a reflection of the dedication of everyone involved and the work we put in to create that sense of dedication and responsibility with the space we left for play and friendship.

 

Beyond skills, joy, and a sense of direction, The Old Man and The Old Moon also gave me a way to connect to Loyola’s mission. This process was truly a diverse group of individuals working together to learn; about the show, each other, and the practice of theatre-making. Which is how I see the core of Loyola’s mission statement. 

 

At the end of every rehearsal, I led a closing ritual called The Five Gratefuls, which true to its name, was five people shouting out something they were grateful for. So I feel there's no better way to close out this reflection with five grateful. So here are five things I’m grateful for:

1. The trust I was allowed by all the faculty and the students involved

2. The emphasis of this project as a learning experience.

3. The rehearsal room being somewhere I was excited to go work every night

4. PigPen for creating this lovely show 

5. And the Old Man getting to fill his Old Moon